Stitching A Cloud of Dream

Hey.... it's been a while since I last wrote. Err.. correction! I did actually write alot of posts, just that they are incomplete ones LOls :P Pending to be published!

It's not that I've lost my personal therapeutic session - writing and expressing but it's because I have been really busy stitching a cloud of dream :) Yes, life itself is like a dream and we are never asleep :)

And what exactly do I mean? You will know when it's time! As for now, I can only pray for storms to pause and rain to go away :)

I have a mixture of feelings tonight, mostly regarding my life so far... at the age of 22. What have I achieved or have I made any statement that is ought to be remembered for life? Or am I not satisfied with what I already attained because I keep looking at life through a microscope? Amplifying manifold, an invisible speck unsurprisingly becomes an insurmountable mountain.

I hate to admit it but yes, I have unknowingly chasing after something in life that I myself do not know what is that missing piece that gives the final completion to my puzzle. I am not sure if it's even an object, a human or just an imagination. I just know I'm waiting for that time to come, and that is when my life will begin- all over again :)

Suddenly, I feel my life is at a perfect pace (I might think otherwise tomorrow :P) I might "grow up" a little bit quickly but it's just what I can do, a step closer to finding the last piece of puzzle.

And finally, my mum have accepted the fact that I've grown up. Less naggings and she seemed to have started to trust in me that I can get hold of myself and maneuver my own wheel of life. Happy for that, absolutely.

It's bedtime now at 2 a.m, always the best time of the day :) Cold and quiet, a peaceful spirit sings a happy song :) It's random to say this out of the blue, but I just realised...

I have started to love myself more. And it's when you learn to love yourself, you open your heart to loving someone else, and it's when someone else will love you in return :) Nights!

Happy Valentines Day in advance!
Treasure the person who walks this far in life with you,
Through times are bad
Remember how the love story once unfolds
Through times are good
And waive on the page how the love story will end
Till death do us apart.

-tung hing-

Choya 21

!~Shush Girl, Shush your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your HiPS~!

Thanks to Mr. Chow Huo Kit, now I'm addicted to this song ;)

Anyways, my post isn't going be about the song, erm... something far more interesting I'd say. LOLS! I mean, laughably interesting. Hhaha! Remember I told you guys tht I signed up for the traditional photo shoots? I got the pictures already. Haa!

You see, my initial plan was to take these photos when I was 18, 21(taken), 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75 (if I'm still alive that is) Lols! But I missed the chance when I was 18, well.. time that had passed will never come back so.. it's fine.

Anyways, I've uploaded alot of my childhood photos into this post and you'll see for yourself if I've changed or evolved in anyways. Haa! Thou many had said that I do not actually have much changes since I was a baby up to now. sigh*

And the legend began with...

21 years ago.... a baby girl was born!

you know, this doesn't really look like a baby girl! lulz~

Judging at this picture, it shouts nothing back at you but a TYPICAL & PURE ROOTED ASIAN FEATURE!

Small sleek eyes, flat nose bridge and thin lips with the black hair.

This baby will never look as hot as Miley Cyrus when she's a teenage nor ever! like Megan Fox when she's in her 20's...

(Yes... I admit, I just feel damn disappointed being born as a chinese. Say whatever you want, unappreciative or whatever but the fact is heck, I'm still chinese :})

And hell, why do I have to look like my father in the first place? Yea, he's ugly :S You know, my mum's pretty.. And hell I did not inherit her genes at all! F-U-G!

looking at this picture, you'd expect the baby to be prettier right?

(my mum's 50 anyways! this picture is taken together with me in the studio!)

In fact, my maternal relatives like my uncles, aunties, cousins and lalalala~ are all pretty good looking with good features. And the shortie gene does surely come from my dad's side :S

Like my mum, at this age.. I think they could still find her to model for the Mooncake Festival. Lols!

I always think my mum's pretty, no perasan-ness :)

But she clearly does make a huge mistake in her life marrying my Dad, that's all I could say :)

Back to myself. Yea! My mum made me look like a boy when I was small, probably from the day I was born up to 6 years old. People think I'm a boy! :O

you know what I really mean when I say I hated typical chinese feature?

I still remember that the Poh Piah Auntie said to me, "Nah Ah Boy, lu eh Popia. Noh kor gin nia ah boy..." (Boy, here's your Popia, it's for RM2) zzZzz

And I started to rebel when I was in primary school, I insisted to have long hair! I could make all sorts of excuses just to abstain from the hair salon. Haa! Like I was having stomach ache or even, I pretended to fall sleep and did not want to wake up when I reached :P It worked.. twink*

a boy~



I tried really hard to look like a girl bad then when my hair was TED sHorT! and guess what?


it just failed terribly~! lols!

Do you like my dress? LOls!!!

My lil gang...


my cousins and i at the Rubber Estate, just behind my Grandparent's house.

DO you think this is where Edward Cullen would appear? KikA! :P

But you know what? Rihanna's hairstyle was inspired by me.. Hahaha!


cendawan hair.. lols!

My sis and bro liked to make fun of my hair, ALOT! Used to hated them back then and I'd steal their exercise books as revenge and hid it under my closet. Lols!

You've never seen my dad, now you have the chance to. Behold!

The FatSo!


wow, tak sangka i was good in poses since age 5 Lols!

And my brother just looked damn, noobingly ugly. My mum couldn't even recognise him! Haa!

My parents separated when I was... 8 or 9 and I always think that, life got better without my dad, it does :)
My siblings and I would lock ourselves in the room and munch chips when they were arguing because it was so often and frequent, it was just like a routine to us.

I didn't have much pictures when I was in primary.

Then I went to secondary.
Good life begins...

Friends :)


this picture was taken with Yu Yu in Singapore Science Museum

Jacq, Ling, Phing.. although you girls pictures are not in, that doesn't mean that I don't love you girls ;) It's just that I'm lazy. Haa!

Classmates


this picture was taken when I was in 4 sc 1!

Karate


i'm beginning to get used to Body Combat now in Gym :)

Then... then... I went to F6 :)

Met alot of awesome people which awed my life :) Form 6 was an experience, an important phase of my life, I will never forget.

Good girls, good boys.. and good teachers :)


Just one of the hundreds pictures taken :P

I found a passport sized photo in my drawer. I took it when I was 18. Lols!

Just woke up and rushing to get an instant photo snapped!


Damn~! f-u-g-l-y! Haa!

Time flies and I'm 21 now.

Do I feel like an adult? No.
Do I gain a total freedom yet? No. (Breaking rules is what I like) Hee!

How did I evolve then?

this is how I look now.

I put up this pic isn't becuz I think it's the nicest but it's the most basic and natural one.

and this pose is rather gicky too :P not my idea, my fotographer's :D

what i tink? I still look like a damn typical chinese girl with the blunt features.
(Yea, say watever you want)

Basically, I've alot pictures but I just managed to upload only a few. SOme are even taken using my phone's camera and transferred into laptop so it's abit blur :)

The costume I like best would be...

The Han Princess Costume :P

Tern Qing Ge Ge

Lols! Lols! Lols!

Never imagine I cud do such crazy thing rite but I just did. Laugh ur ass off and pick it up when u wanna shit :P

But I think it looks okay :P

fail or pass? LOLOLOLS!

Then, I had always wanted Kimono rite.
I had it but I the whole pic couldn't fit so I just took a fraction of it only :P

i really like this one, if you see the whole picture where the kimono drapes the body just nicely :)

And one of the many posey pics would be this.. LOLS!

trying to look like a seductive geisha but failed terribly. LOls!

Well, that's all I've got for you. I have plenty more but abit lazy to upload so many. HaA! One more cosume would be the.. erm, French Can Can dress but I din really like it cuz, anyhow I'm still a typical chinese so the results were abit disappointing.

Ahh~ finally the post is done! I haven't been blogging with pictures for a while so it feels really good having pictures to show. Nice o not, I don't care. Lols!

The important thing is, I did it and happy that I did it.

So, enjoy! I'm off now. NiteS!

What's with Imeem lately? Keep cutting my song short. ISH! Benci nia~!

~!And you tell your boyfriend, and he said he's got me, and that I'm a vegetarian and that I ain't fucking scared of him!~

In love with this song! Sound so sexily notty! :P And sexy notty guys are yummy Haa!

shhh.. dun tell my mum! Hee!

(Of cuz, it wud be fun to have a notty hot bf but of cuz not for husband material! :})

Queer Eye For The Straight Guys

I'm about to write up on one of the most controversial issues of all time...

People talk about them,

People make fun of them,

People avoid them,

Of people and them...

People choose not to understand them, for

They are not one of them :)

Who are they?

Oh yes, the Gays ;) I miss this show :P

It may not be necessary for us to give serious thoughts about the gays, so we thought.

But, have you guys (and girls too) ever give a thought to how would you guys respond to a confession of a friend, that he is a gay?

Is it,

Ohh okay, I see. (Backing off)

Really? Good for you! (Stay as friends) or

Don't be silly... (GASP*!!!!)

After much survey, I strongly conclude that, guys and girls think very differently of a

gay bestfriend :) Be it a manly gay or a girly-man. Man man man man man girly man man!! :P

Girls often find their gay bestfriends very interesting and intriguing, that we merely notice the "invisible" competition, you know... we like boys, and they want boys too :P Instead, we commiserate with the idea of WHAT A WASTE!!! :P

Haha! It's true... Our reflex action response very quickly "HAR SI MEH? PAK SENG NIA..." :P Cuz 9 out of 10 times, manly gays are.... irresistably attractive :P

Another point is that, girls have been struggling for millenia to try to make their boys understand them better. But often, it's a shrug-off matter for them. Girls & their PMS. For this, it's an amazing feeling that we finally have a "boy" that shares an equal or at least almost at the same wavelengths as us :P
And as for the straight guys, I'd come across comments like..."Actually, it's not that they are bad, but I just think it's gili." Well, it's only gili when you try to imagine their sexual preferences. But then it's just love & affection after all. Who has anything to say, right? Maybe your preferences for the girls creep them out too :P

And I had also come across guys that said, "I totally despise gays... as they are a big joke & a shame to our community." Urmm... for those of you that think this way, kindly define the phrase "a big joke & a shame". As I really don't get it, what is so funny and shameful for them to live lives the way they want and should? :O

I'll prepare some joke-o-meter or shame-0-meter to measure the level of fun then, if only there's any :)

Some extremists go to the lengths that promise, a hell at the end of a gay's life. Quote, "Because anyone willfully living that kind of lifestyle without ending it and putting it behind them is purposely sinning in God's eyes and undeserving of any kind of reward of eternal life."

Is this the word of the extremists? Or the word of God??? As far as I'm concerned or rather, brought up to believe that God created us, each so special that none the same. Then why do we end up here speculating His creation is a sin? Not like being born gay is a crime, it's nature.

But of course, each person has the right to cast their own thoughts and opinions about something. There's no right or wrong to that. After all, we are born different.

In a nutshell, most girls love their gay bestfriends :) If you guys think making fun of their gay bestfriends will make you look cooler, then you're wrong. You will just end up looking like a pathetic sang pepatung :P (random)

So if you guys happen to date a girl who has gay bestfriends, errr.. try not to insult them and instead, you should consider bringing them a fruit basket :D HAHA!

And maybe, you should stop feeling afraid that they'll hit on you because hitting on a straight guy to them is like climbing a fruitless tree :P End!

New Year, New Resolutions

Goodbye, 2008! Welcome, 2009 :D

Long story snipped short, 2008 wasn't a very good year for me though I picked up alot of new experiences along the way :) Nevertheless, I still feel thankful to God that everyone that is dear to me-family & friends, lived through 2008 together with me, safe and sound :)

Now, we are in 2009! Don't you feel blessed of the chance given to you? So, stop whining and moping bout the past. A past is always a past, and it will continue to haunt you if you keep staying in that dark room. Walk out, leave them but never to forget them of course. So that you will not fall into the same trap again! :D

I know, it's easier said than done but guess what? I'm not born an adult and I had been thru what exactly some of you are going thru and trust me, time heals and you're the only antidote. No one can help you if you refuse to help yourself. That's all.

I know, I'm too proud at times and yes, I'm proud of myself :P Haha! In some ways.. not like what you're thinking but heaven, it's enough that I know myself :P



Now, lets talk about New Year's Resolutions! I'm sure everyone has something they want to share. Here's a piece of mine! :P

1) Getting my body back in shape. LOls!
2) Sleep earlier, even a minute counts! :P
3) NOT TO BE LATE ANYMORE :P
4) Learn to say "No, I don't want to"!
5) Level up my confidence!
6) Complete Cibtac & Cidesco (My UK + Swiss Diplomas) with Honours- this is abit hard LOLS!
7) Be cool & chic LOLS!
8) Be a more patient Mum ;)
9) Be patient for New Moon :P
10) Still unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Rob Pattinson HHAHAHHA!

That's all I can think of at the moment. Haha! Really, this year's feeling is amazing. Not because I'm getting older but it's just a feeling of... excitement Haha. Like I can sense some interesting stuff coming up, not too sure what those are anyways :P

Anyways, thank you for the few minutes of your precious time spent here in my blog.

Therapy

Writing has always been a therapy to me.
Particularly blogging, find it very therapeutic.
Someway, somehow.

I never lie about my emotions in my blog.
If I feel euphoric and high bout something or even someone, I'll hoo-haa bout it. And then I move on.
If I feel mad and angry about something or even someone, I'll bitch about them and at most, give 2 shits about it and then I move on.
If I feel sad or down, I'll pour all my heart and soul into my words and then, I move on :)

I'm not feeling euphoric tonight. Nor mad at someone too. And yes, I'm feeling sad. So sad that I feel like crying suddenly. There's no reason to how and why am I feeling like this. I guess it should be the.. sudden hormonal attacks. You can google it. No joke :)

However, there are no wasted tears here. All to the greatest reservoir- my heart :)
I'm not an emo kid but there's no one to be blamed for fluctuating hormones, I'm aware of that.

Or maybe I'm just too happy and excited that I am finally able to fix my wireless connection and get to cosily surfing the internet on my beloved chamber of ..... whatever. I mean my bed :)

Or maybe it's about what someone had told me earlier this afternoon.

Maybe I'm just nervous of the idea of growing up. Facing life. Challenges ahead. I guess I'm just over excited? I was chatting with my sister and she said something that made me feel teary but true.

Match Stick's Gurl: So what do you feel like or wish to do for your 21st birthday?

Choya Pattinson: I don't know. Physically or emotionally??

Match Stick's Gurl: For the moon?

Choya Pattinson: (New Moon? Hee!) I just want to spend quality time with loved ones and close friends :) Nothing particular.

Match Stick's Girl: That's all?

Choya Pattinson: Maybe too gain more freedom and can drive my own life without parental supervision anymore?? Hee!

Match Stick's Gurl: HAHA! You can have that. Not a problem.

Choya Pattinson: I'm not so sure about it. You know your mum, right?

Match Stick's Gurl: Yea. Actually.......

Choya Pattinson: ??

Match Stick's Gurl: Yea that's true. When I think of that... We still thought that you were a little kid n child that haven't grown up n just a glimpse of eye u r now 21 d.

Match Stick's Gurl: In our eyes n mind u r always a little gurl or rather we rather choose to c that u will never grow up.

Match Stick's Gurl: But that's very very selfish of us! HEHE!

Choya Pattinson: sigh* It's time I need to be really responsible for my acts rite? No more fooling around and don't give a damn attitude.

Match Stick's Gurl: So tell me, what do you really want? Anything.

Choya Pattinson: (yat sat chor mou fong kor- ngek ngek*) I want a platinum necklace with a key pendant. I want new sunshade. I want a new leather bag. LOLS! You ask for it!!

Match Stick's Gurl: Got it! A Bata brand bag for you. That's all I can think of for you if you want a bag. Haha!

Choya Pattinson: (Ba-lan la :P) YOU!!! Nvm.. Lols

Match Stick's Gurl: Can I ask you smth really serious??

Choya Pattinson: (!!!???) Har? What? So serious?? (I don't have a boyfriend yet :P)

Match Stick's Gurl: Do you think Haresh is handsome??

Choya Pattinson: LolS! I don't know who is Haresh, I only know who's Rob Pattinson and he's very handsome for sure!!!! :P

Match Stick's Gurl: haHa!

So that was part of MSN convo with my sis. Tell me. Shouldn't I feel sad over some parts of it when she said about me growing up? I just feel emo when the words keep flashing across my mind. Time flies. I'm 21 one, soon 31, 41, 51!! BITE ME CARLISLE!!! :P

~*~Time is ticking, blood is racing, out of control. I feel like chasing you to date me is a race of its own~*~

2008 coming to an end, very quickly... Everything will remain as history, once more. To think about it, for nearly the past of 20 years, I haven't really done anything memorable and adventurous. Something solid enough for me to feel, my life is a worthwhile one though I got some wear and tear, here and there :)

I already have something in mind. And I'm going to do it. For sure I will. No hesitation this time. And it's something about me vanishing in Penang for a while, far far away. To somewhere that the day & night, remain a contrast :P It might take years for it to be accomplished but good things worth all the time :)

I guess I should just stop right here. It's not healthy to let emotions overpower me for a long time. Like I said. Whatever it is, I move on :)

Time After Time

It's exactly 4 months now, since I started my course in Stella-In. Time flies, indeed! I still remember the first few weeks of my freshie days in Stella-In. Damn blur + damn noob + damn punctual + damn obedient. Lols! Packed up every night before I went to sleep and sorted out all notes and prepared for lessons the next day.

Months later, which is now.. I pack up, I still do... Lols.. But not the night before but while I'm holding a glass of milk and a biscuit in my mouth every morning. HAHA! 10 minutes before I leave the doorstep :P

So the morning class lasts from 10.30 a.m. to bout like 12.30 p.m. and noon class takes place from 2.00 p.m. to 5.00 p.m. So in the mean time while waiting for noon class to start, we sometimes have ample time to go for shopping :P

Recently, I've paid frequent visits to Skin Food. And I find their products very interesting! I don't know.. I just feel happy whenever I enter the shop.. LOLS! You know, I'm getting really sick of make-up these days and I just want to treat my skin with more nutritious food! I'm going to have a break from 19 Dec onwards till 4th Jan. In this 2 weeks break, I'm darn sure I just want to spend the days without make-up at all, be it anywhere I go.

It's not that I have natural beauty. I wish I do, but I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin and not a... painting :P

It has been a while since I last felt so... in control of time :P I'm not sure why but it seems that tonight, my time seems to last longer than as usual. I feel like I had done pretty a lot of stuff compared to the other nights and it's just 10 p.m. now?!

Or maybe it's because I had an early shower right after my mum dropped me home. Feeling all refreshed than as usual where I'd laze around but instead I got to my books and did an amazing 3 hours revision tonight. Syabas! Tahniah! :D

And I've packed up for class tomorrow, too. I've trimmed my nails. I've filed my expenditures for today and... what else did I do... oh, blogging perhaps. I had dinner and then supper too! Lols! It seems like I'd done so many things already and it's still so early! Maybe it's just my imagination..

*~Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more, maybe it's just my imagination~*

I just got Twilight book from Ah Chin. Going to read it before I go to bed tonight. I feel excited! Hahahaha! And tomorrow Yu Yu's going to pass me New Moon. New Moon! New Moon! New Moon! New Moon!!!! :P

Life is good when you think it is ;) NightS.. I'm going to brush Mikey's teeth-y! BuAiZ!

Just A Moment Before I Sleep

*yawnS*

Actually I'm feeling quite sleepy and blur while typing this. I'd been sleeping quite early these days though sometimes I find it hard to fall asleep soon as I sometimes need to toss and turn for a couple of hours before embarking on my sea cruise to.. dreamland :)

Just a moment before I sleep, I'd just like to say that... I notice a difference in myself lately. Last time, the second before I fell asleep, I used to think about alot of unnecessary stuff and then I felt very monotonous about the next day.

But recently, I must say that... I had been given alot of opportunities to meet new experiences and they have really widened my perspective towards life. I begin to realise that, happiness is really just a hairflip away.. :) I used to have this thought that, there was a missing piece inside me which is causing me to feel so crappy but then I realise that, the missing piece is actually... my peace and freedom. And I feel so silly that it took me one hell of a crazy time and journey to find that missing piece. I had enough of dramas in life that left me with no peace :)

(I don't mean the peace like in the monastery but just you know, a peace of mind and like what Jason Mraz sings: there's no need to complicate, our time is short~)

A freedom doesn't necessarily always means a space that only others can grant you. It's up to your level of commitment that how much space you want to give yourself and it's up to your level of comfortability that how much space you allow other people to have influence over you. Don't you think that it's very miserable when we constantly rely our happiness on other people and we get so upset when they don't take the effort to note our feelings or if they don't meet our expectations? We can create a vibe of happiness for ourselves if we know how to treasure and note our merit values in us!

Rome wasn't built in a day so obviously it takes time to do so. For me, I'm just taking baby steps to change my bad day to day habit and ditch all those self-proclaimed-sadness-and-miseries-of-my-past-like-how-i-was-being-mistreated-and-who-and-who-so-on-that-had-left-such-a-huge-impact-or-whatever-scar-in-me. Like what's the point of living in other peoples' mistakes. It's not as if I deserved it but it just happened so I have to move on anyway. But if I continue to feel miserable about what others had and had not done for me then the foolish person to be in the losing end will not be them... but me :)

*ssSiPppp!* Yumz! I just drank a bottle of Yakult. Yes, my morning now begins with a glass of milk and my day ends with a bottle of Yakult. No~ it's not a secret recipe to happiness :P but my brother stocked up those for me before he left on Monday ;)

The conclusion would be.. I'm feeling really sleepy now and all that I want to say is, instead of feeling monotonous about the next day, I'm beginning to feel excited bout it because I finally know.. where's the direction I am going. What really matters in reality and when to let go somethings that had let me go... so long ago. These small pieces of things are what I consider important to start building me up.

Now repeat after me, happiness.is.JUST! a hairflip away.... *tWinnKk*

Tung Hing

i'm not a fishmonger

Has anyone of you ever observed a moment of silence and asked yourself, what is the story behind your names? Are you proud of your names? Or you think that it's so unfair that we get to choose everything to anything in the entire universe that we favour but not our names since it's fixed by our parents at the moment of our births?

I'm not so sure bout others but... I'm definitely proud of my name :) I know it's not some kinda sweet and seductive ladylike names, infact it sounds so much like a guy's name! Lols! Erm.. for those of you that don't really know me that well, let me just highlight this point to you. My fullname is Tung Hing and my name is Tung Hing. Just two words and that's Tung Hing once again (that's right ladies~ CC's style) :P

You can call me Balitung, Tong Sampah or Tung Tung Chiang in any matter but then. never. call. me. Tung Tung or Hing Hing (ROARRRRRRS) but it's absolutely alright if you call Yu Yu. HahHHAHAHAHHAHHAA!

When I was younger. I despised my name. Because I thought I was weird to have only 2 characters in my name when everybody else had at least 3! Or maybe 4, including the english name. And silly me once I was, I tried to create an english name for myself and hell it sucks I don't wanna mention or hear it ever again. Haha!

My siblings and I were named by our paternal grandfather whom was originated from China so I think that's how it influenced our names to sound so oriental :P

My sister's name: Tung Fung (aka: Tung Fong Pat Pai)
My brother's name: Tung Oon (aka: Tang Hoon)
Me name: Tung Hing (aka: Tong Sampah) Hahaha! That was what my friends called me in primary :P

There's probably one confusion in my name which is the pronounciation of the surname, Tung. Actually, it goes either way. Can pronounce as toong or tang, depending on the accent. Because mostly Caucasians pronounce my name as tang since it can be derived from the english word tungsten. I'm not offended in anyway ;)

I was just randomly surfing through the internet by googling my own name. And I found this which I think looks pretty historical :P.. It gives me a very weird feeling like... how many Tung Hingsss are there in this world :P


Trust me, if you happen to google the name Tung Hing, you'll end up in the eatery business, mostly! Lols! There's actually a building in Penang that is named: Bangunan Tung Hing too. Lols. You often pass along that area it's just that you don't realise cuz it's quite a run down 80s building, beside Chew Thean Yeang Petshop :P

Just recently, I was checking my hotmail inboxes. Actually, I'm not quite active in hotmail (except MSN Messenger), in fact I don't check my mails there and that's why when I logged in the other day.. there was a whopping figure of 300 messages pending for my acknowledgement :P To my surprise, I received something very extraordinary, not any forwarded messages or mails.. something that's so customized that's only for me ;)

I'm a rabbit according to Chinese Calender ;)

Lolz! That was actually done by my youngest Uncle, Ah Cheong Khu specially for me. I'm not sure why he did that out of the blue, I thought hi and low and the only reason could be... I'm cute. *~Twink ;)~*! HahahHHAhhahAHAHahhahHA!

He probably got that from my one of blogpost. The thing is, this mail was actually sent to me last year November 22nd, 2007 and here I am, receiving it almost a year later November 11th, 2008!~ HAHAHAHA! So thanks Ah Cheong Khu!

Time flies. Last year this moment, I remember I was crazy over Takuya Kimura and was driven nuts by STPM. And this year. Everything starts anew and so much about me that has changed. Everything for the better :)

and p/s: Choya is a type of Japanese health wine that I randomly pick as my virtual name. So mates, drink Choya for good health ;)

Just Random

It's 4.18 a.m. Feeling crappy. Feeling sleepy. In serious pain.

There's so much to think. There's so much to care. Which comes first?

I do. I don't. I did. I did not! I wished if only...

I'm always random. In the blue. Outta the blue. But not deliberate.

A simple dream. A long journey. A rocky way...

Just another life. An ordinary person. Vulnerabilities. Insecurities. Not a Superwoman.

I'm tired. But sleep is not what I need. How?

Sometimes, I really wished to see myself through the eyes of others. But see the world through the eyes of my own.

A mirror. A reflection. And it tells nothing more than just a face.

I want to know more... in Life

Tired of Being Too Free

I know my blog title may sound somewhat pathetic but damn... I'm really so sick of being too free. I've never been so free, as far as I'm concerned for the past 19 years of my life. Seriously, July is one hell of a slow and empty month for me and I wish I could fast forward the days so that comes August, my new life begins :) All for good, so I hope :)

Well, when I say empty... It literally means.. emptiness from within :) Like there's reli nothing that I can do to keep myself busy and on-the-go, at least for something that is worthwhile. What I do almost everyday, let me list it down...

1) Online surfing until late night like.. erm lets just call it early morning :P like 6 a.m averagely :)
2) Waking up at around 12 noon the next day... well, nothing much to be done if I were to wake up much earlier in the morning too :)
3) Helping mum to prepare lunch and dinner.
4) Sweeping and moping the floor. So free that lately I comb thru all the lazy wires around my e-corner and tie them up nicely after sorting out.
5) Blogging and more blogging
6) Watching emo dramas with my mum
7) Waiting for friends to be free for an outing
8) Checking on Mohe website almost everyday..

and I'm really dying inside thinking about these boring routines... I'm jealous of all of you who are having assignments in Uni now. VERY! :S

Actually, I've digested the one big chunk of fact that I had failed for my application to the public Uni. It's like I don't see myself anywhere in there anymore and have already set my mind clear for the next step. And I'm just waiting...

I'm in the process of moulding myself and building a strong foundation to welcome any challenges ahead of me. It's too early for me to determine my success but it's definitely time for me to pull up my socks. It's going to be a tough time for me soon, breaking out to a new world much earlier than I had expected but I guess in life, flexibility is utmost important.

Not everyone is born with that luck in their lives, achieving success with least effort. Judging my life experiences before, I do certainly belong to the group that require much more effort to excel. I'm not super smart academically the same time not a dumb blonde. I don't have a hill of wealth behind me nor is too poor to starve in the streets :P

I guess all I need to do is to add up all my small bits of qualities scattered here and there and come up with something rather than wondering why God is so unfair :) After all, we only live once. No point standing at a corner envying what others have in their lives and not take the time to make our lives for the better. How good other people may seem to be or their lives are very nice and fun to be looked at, but no matter how good and lucky they are also in the end, really has got nothing to do with us, right? Hee... We are still who we are. That's a reminder for myself :)

I always wonder why my mum keeps looking after me like I'm just 2 years old when I'm already 20 years old! I'm not saying I'm old enough to break free like a bird but then just some spaces would be good :) But it's the nature of all mothers perhaps. If I want her to look at me differently, it's not just as simple as getting more rebellious and ignorant. That will make me look even more immature, as good as just 1 year old :P So, I'm going to convince her I've grown, through my performance and attitude towards anything and everything, first and foremost.. to establish myself in my career next time :)

She's been saying that I'm too short for anything and not smart in studies enough to become someone big in life. It hurts yes it is but then maybe this could be blessing in disguise that I even want go for extra miles to prove her she's wrong! Hehe! Probably I do look too weak to her at this size of my body :P Maybe she would dwell in ease if I could marry someone rich and become an ultimate parasite but that's not me. I'll prove to her someday I'm not a good for nothing.

p/s: Lately she's been telling me Hai Uncle's niece is dating the heir of a Ladang Kelapa Sawit. Laugh my ass off*

Well, I know she loves me and I don't hate her for anything. I understand she had a very rough life herself, as a child and even after marrying my Dad. So I know she just wants the best for me but just showing me her love and care thru a more... dry way. After all, I'm a girl turning into a woman real soon and I can understand a woman's insecurities. When she had gone through all the bitterness in her life as a teen, I was still a noobshit ovum yet to be released and menempel dekat dinding uterus :P When she had bad days with my Dad, I was still the noobshit toddler that was holding Barbie on my right and Ken on my left. I'm no one to say she's a bad mother but I'm certain I just want to be a good daughter :)

I live a past that follows me like a shadow. I'll never be able to change my history. I hate it yes. I despise it yes. Yes Yes Yes!!! I met my Dad sometime ago and he aged alot. It set me thinking for a while. This guy is my Dad. The person who brought me to this world but why.. why does he look like a stranger to me today??? Why?? Why has it got to be him to ruin a big part of my life too when he could be the closest man that is supposed to pick me up whenever I fall. When I turned and walked away, tears started to well in my eyes. I wasn't too sure what were the tears for. Was it for my hatred towards him that he's being an irresponsible father or was it a sense of pitiness, for him and for myself. It was a painful feeling to see the past playing once again. I'm not sure I could ever forgive and forget. I'm not too sure...

But my present is a gift as well as tomorrow is a mystery, only myself can make a difference :)

My life will begin at where it ends..
Am I too emo again??? Hope not :)

My Ideal Life

I'm sure everybody has their own special thoughts of their ideal lives, like I have one for myself :P However, I too believe that our wants and needs in life will keep changing from time to time as we grow older but for me, at the age of 20, one should have a clear idea of how they want to live their lives in the coming years ahead.

Well, it depends on individuals. Maybe some might think it's too early to think bout things like that but for me, I definitely have got one in mind already :)

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the very first step! :)

Being a person like me, who hates ample free time cuz I have a tendency to get all emotional and depress when I have too much free time (non stop negative thinkings about my past), I would favour a career which takes up alot of my time. AND THAT IS IF.. I'm loving what I'm doing ;) I don't mind working for more than 10 freaking hours perday seriously. If you love what you are doing, you don't feel like working at all but just living your life to the fullest (maybe it applies to me only.. Haha!)

Urmm. Age will not be the factor I retreat from my profession next time as I believe, to retire is to expire :P Maybe I'll slow down a tiny bit but I just won't stop one nano sized bit :) Unless, I fall sick or rest in peace inside a coffin :)

In a nutshell: Choya is extremely career minded and is happy being a workaholic.

no rain can stop me :)

Well well well, no matter how hectic my working schedules are... I won't get them to interfere my precious weekends I'm going to spend with my family and friends! I'll bring mum out for a shopping spree and bring Mikey for his grooming session or maybe me going to the Spa. Hehe~

Actually, I'm quite a homely girl too. Definitely partying once in a while would be great and it's not exactly my cup of cappucino if it's every weekend :P All this while, I have this dream life which includes thoughts of organizing a weekly gathering for friends! No bitchy colleagues but genuine friends :)

During this weekly gathering, I'd love to invite them over to my apartment for a sumptuous feast, which I'll make fantastic meals for them to dine! I can't promise it's going to taste like a heaven but it's my love and my heart put into it leh~ Heee! Well, when I said genuine friends, I'm inviting along their partners and kids too if they have any. It's going to be great! I'm becoming Auntie Choya! And these kids will learn much from their parents about FrIenDsHip :)

In a nutshell: Family and friends make up a huge portion of Choya's life :)

i love to cook but not necessary a good cook :P

Speaking bout that. I really need a fully well equipped kitchen. You can't cook well when you have a lousy kitchen honestly. It makes you feel very... turned off hence, your food tastes lousy :S When I'm financially stable, I definitely want to get an apartment for myself and customized each and every corner of my new home :) I'll start with a kitchen, very important to me!

Something which looks like this would suffice!

Secondly, it would be a comfortable and spacious living room catered for various activities!

Last but not least, of cuz a cosy and relaxing bedroom... with personal bathroom attached!

When you see this king sized bed, it doesn't mean I'm trying to hint you anything bout the co-owner but, personally I love a king sized bed. And sometimes it's great when my girlfriends have some little conflicts with their husbands/ boyfriends, they can come over and ma pou with me and have some pillow talk like when we were teenagers. SluMbeR PaRty!

In a nutshell: Choya adores a sleek and chick interior and comes practical :)

Well, after so much I've discussed about. Maybe a handful of you might have started to wonder, "Is Choya a freak or something? She did not mention anything about her ideal romance at all. Is she a lesbian? Or is she a loner? Or is she an ultimate sadist??? NAN YA DEI~"

The answer is....... relationship matters are almost neutral to me. Have it it's good, probably will treasure it like precious gemstones but if there's not, no big deal either. I'm not trying to give the impression that whoa.. all relationships are saddening or some say that I always like sad endings. Haha! I don't like sad endings but then life's not a bed of roses and we just have to be cautious? Haha!

A person can say he/she loves you for a period of time but after a while, they can forget. Forget the promises, forget the words and forget all times, yes it is that scary when feelings change :) Just like Tong Zhen Hai the fuckface. Ouu. It's from the ShangHai drama Abura and Me had been catching. Abura definitely adores someone in the drama.. T..Tt..Ttaa..Tang.. dot dot dot Haha! Maybe I grow up in an environment full of these miseries, I start to get jelak....

In a nutshell: Choya does believe in Love but not a fairytale

Well, even lets say I'm so lucky to end up in a fruitful relationship and get married to someone for good... Kids will always be in the bottomlist of my List Of Priorities in life :P It's not about the labour pain. It's not about a lifetime of commitment entirely. It's just... it's just.... it's just not the right time to talk about this yet at the age of 20 seriously. Hahahahaha! Cut it short..

In a nutshell: 20 is too young for me to consider about this motherly issue :D

And it's just out of randomness again that I choose to blog about this issue. I mean, it's quite personal too in a way but then it's just to share a little bit more about myself that's all. A life with too many secrets and hideous feelings or trying to be someone you are not can be pretty tiring. I'm just being me, as always I will be :)

Ke Fan asks: Why am I always the one who runs off but also the one who finds my way back to you?

Qi Fei says: Because I won't run. Because you know I'll always be here. Because you know I'll always be waiting for you to come back and will never move a bit from this place. So you know exactly where am I... as always I will be at.

A Motion of Passion

I'm depressed now. No doubt my new blog skin as well the blog title suggests the other way round, Cheerful Choya. :) What is ever so cheerful in Choya's life??? Some may say that I have so many people around my life that love me loads, family and friends yet why do I have to feel so crappy? True, I have friends that are awesome but then I have a family that not just they love me a heaven, but often they also doubts my ability. They always say I'm old enough to get some of my senses right but when I propose my ideas, somehow or rather the response I get is "A 20 year old girl with immature thoughts" or maybe they will think my worries and insecurities are unnecessary and simply brush me off with a one-second-response... don't worry too much.

me and some "petty issues" being brushed off....

If you ask me what have I done for myself for the past 20 years, other than always wanting the best and wanting so badly to let my loved ones to feel so proud of me that I put their feelings before myself then my life indeed has nothing else. Obviously there is no one to be blamed in this situation. It's just me myself and I being.... nice perhaps. It's just by nature it occurs.

Results of Universities Admission is out and it is mendukacitakan. I'm not sure if I have to feel happy or sad about it as... I know at the end of the day after I graduate from Uni, I won't be doing something related to it. Me going to Uni is more to like again, wanting to make my mum feel proud and happy as I CAN GO TO UNI... But then my passion lies somewhere else. And maybe I should feel happy that now I can pursue what I like now.. but then again what I like may not please my family. Should I listen to myself or to them, I'm lost.

And it's so easy to say, follow what your heart wants or fight for yourself but then it's never easy to do so. I mean it's not easy to fight in this life all alone right? Could it be true that we must always listen to the elders as they are more experienced in life and their speculations are always true?

Previously I was thinking that I made a right choice of switching altogether to courses not related to science at all in USM as I thought that my result should be okay for certain language or management subjects. Then I thought if I stayed in Penang, I can take up part time beautician course and after 14 months I can work part time while studying for some money. And I would like to save a portion of my money for my dream after 3 years in Uni. I never told any of my family members before that I'm all along interested in designing cuz since young I was taught that if you want to earn good money and a stable job, SCIENCE IS THE WAY! Engineers and doctors were very cool profession to me... THEN.

But as I ventured into science, I find that it was all exciting and interesting but it was not something that I feel it's for me. I could handle the stress but I couldn't handle the questions!!!! And I started to flunk. Each time I stared blankly into my textbooks, minutes later I found myself flipping through magazines. LOlz! I was lazy and further and further I drifted from my... studies which makes me a failure (to my mum) today.... I'm sorry.

And recently, I made up my mind on designing and I am torn between graphics & multimedia or fashion design technology. Graphics with good job prospect but I have lesser interest and fashion with 100% interest and passion but then it's a hard and rocky way to stardom. Obviously my bro said Graphics better, I know it's better but then... I like to eat Mango although I know Kiwi has more vitamins :) So I'm lost again.

I told my bro and he said, "Mmm.. Graphics is good, very good cuz there's a demand in market now. Mmm you can do it, I think the fees is ok..." bla bla bla but when I kept correcting him it was fashion and he overheard it. "No I said fashion designing..." I corrected and he went, "Hmm Good choice. Graphics is good..." and when finally he got it into his ear fashion designing he went... "HAr?? Fashion?? MAI LA. MANA OO HO!!"

I told my sis and she said maybe I'm confused with what I want in life and ask me to think properly again. But why none ask me a question I expect, "do you really want it?"

But then my mum cuts me off the most. I started a discussion with her by saying, "Mum, I have thought for a few days and maybe I should let you know what I come in conclusion? I think I like designing." :) and she went "SIGN LU EH KACHUI LA. Beh jip USM lu ki ka wa cho kang than lui liao la!!" :) I swallowed my tears. I'm strong, I'm strong.

The whole day today, I feel so depressed and discouraged. Depressed till I feel that my heart feels so numb yet my lungs want to scream out loud and my body wants to vanish and my soul shatters. And I'm so discouraged that suddenly I think my confidence and passion for designing disappeared and yea.. maybe I should just go work and continue to walk the life of my mum's ideal daughter. Suddenly it feels so good if I just never wake up again tomorrow :)

Maybe... maybe everything about fashion designing... is just a hallucination. Maybe... maybe continue pleasing others is the best for everyone. They are happy. They are proud of me. And I am... and shall continue to lose myself each and everyday. Someday I'm going to leave this world. Why bother. Who am I. Just another girl. Just another small life. Just another person that God loves :)

Goodbye my dream...

and see you another day....

Last night as I was chatting to my sis. She said something to me. "Bro and me loves you very much all this while and we always want the best for you. I don't see why you should be feeling so this way about yourself...." I love them too. But then, it's so sad that it's pointless to know how many people love you but you don't love yourself. You are not doing what you love to do in life and what is there about yourself to be loved?? To me, is nothing :)

Ecstasy =D

Well, this is going to be a very shoort post (inspired by someone's blog maybe :P)

But then I just wanna drop in and say, I am not sure why but out of the blue, I feel very BAHAGIA :P Yes, at this very moment I'm posting this short post. I'm not sure how long this would last but then it's a feeling I have not felt for a very long time. Thought I'd almost forgottten how it felt :)

Thanks to Kah Whai's introduction to Bye Bye by Mariah Carey. The more I listen to this song, the more I feel... hmm.. better is a simple word to describe my feelings now :)

SOmetimes, it's really the small small things in life that makes me happy... No doubt I'm feeling a mixture of feelings- sour, sweet, bitter and maybe a slight pain but then it makes up a good ecstacy pill for me :P

I'm going to hop out now. GoodnittZZ!

A Taste of Randomness

Well, I believe that for those of you who had been to Langkawi last week would know what I mean by randomness of life. Aih, life is indeed random. Somethings happened, somethings come and go. But somethings stay forever.

Obviously, recalling the night of randomness kinda send a chill to my spine as, the situation is like no one expected it, what more to say about myself which now, I still feel a little bit feeling of awkwardness. To say things out of random. To do things out of random. To get too emotional out of random. But then everyone has a skeleton in their closet. Someday they might want to confess, but some prefer to conceal it forever, in another words, lying to themselves forever :)

I've been thinking alot since I came back last Friday. About new friends made and about good old friends drifted apart cuz of studies. I began to ask myself. What makes up my life??? I ponder quite a long time finally I found the answer. It is the past that makes up the Tung Hing today.

At around 5.30 p.m today, as I was about to declare another day from my office suddenly my there was a message beep from my handphone. Call it intuition.. call it a 6th sense, call it psychic power but I somehow felt that strong sense it must be that person, and no other. True enough, my LCD screen showed .... new message from... Yu Yu.

You see I'm not a lesbian :) But then I don't know what is better than having a friend that cooked spaghetti and offered to send it up to your house for you. And it was not a bad idea, as we can have some catch ups after these few months of crazy workload. No matter how much I treasure this friendship but I'll never thought of squeezing her or liking her to call me a slut FYI :D




After the dinner and some blog hopping, we decided to have a pillow talk. Kinda early actually for that as it was only 9.30 p.m then. LOL!

I've been talking about my insecurities in life to a few of my friends, maybe briefly and not entirely. But I guess no one knows it best other than my best buddy, Yu Yu. And thank you so much for being there again when I need a word of encouragement :) To think through it again, our friendship had gone through both good and stormy weather and sometimes I do feel like a failure especially when in times you need a friend, I was not there but I do remember you being there everytime I'm holding on a rope. Maybe I always think I'm the most unlucky and emo person in the world not knowing, life is fair and square :) Everyone has their own problem. Friends forever alright :) (I still don't think I would wanna squeeze you or call you slut though even I love this frienship lots! :P)

you're the left one and i'm on the right... hahaha!

I kept asking myself, throughout this 20 years of my life in this world. What did I gain and what did I lose. Well, I gained alot obviously but then I also lose a lot, and there are somethings in life you can't lose. There's only one and last time and that's when feeling of regretness slip in. There were some moments in my life where I lost my senses and I did somethings that was not myself, maybe it was myself but then I was too naive then. And now I taste the taste and feel the feel and it does bring some kinda damage to my mind, mentally. Like the feeling of traumatised you get it? Maybe you won't :)

But then I'd been telling myself, past is past. No matter how much you regretted doing something, it's 100% impossible for me to turn back the time and make amendments. The best I realise I can do is still, realise my mistake, suck it up, feel all nasty feelings I deserve to feel and most importantly not to repeat the same old mistake. It's a lifetime promise to myself, not to repeat same old mistake ever again in my life. But then, the fact is I did a mistake and I wonder do those people that sincerely regretted their actions in the past deserve a second chance in life if they are willing to repent and start anew? Would you give a second chance???

Well, I still find it hard to forgive myself at times but I'll keep trying. I do not hope for everyone to understand this shit I'm blogging now but as I said, what matters to me after all is for those who are dear to me understand me and perhaps.. dunno. I just don't want to hide in my past anymore but then, it's easier said than done la.

I know you guys must be feeling very confused, puzzled and curious about what shits I am blogging this time around but then there are somethings best kept unsaid. But if someday if it gets its way out also then it's called fate and destiny.

I've been asking my friends, asking in my dreams, asking the mirror mirror hanging on the wall that does God love me? I did emphasized before I was cornfused but then now not anymore :) It's confirmed. God loves me :) If he doesn't, I wouldn't have so many nice friends around me (you know who you are) ;D, that backs me up in times I feel weakest and seems like collapsing which sometimes I even think I do not deserve them. But I think I should stop thinking like an ungrateful child :)

Last but not least, to my family. Each and everyone of you including Mikey are such a blessing to me that I think there's nothing I could have asked for more. But, I still have to stress that I do not remember I felt any fatherly love but it's okay :) I'm happy now at the moment with what I currently have in hands :D

This should be the 2nd time I'm blogging using 98% input from my heart and 2% from my brain. I know the idea is all around but then, I'm all around the places myself too.

When someone truly regretted, a chance is all he/she will ask for...

Getaway Ticket

Well, I am sure that most of you guys have already started feeling sicked of my signature phrase, "I'm Really Tired"

And the "Tired" I meant here is not just an outer shell expression, like I've just sweat tonnes of mineral salts off my body or have run a 5 km track but rather, feeling really tired from within the core of me, myself and I. I really do. And it's not about how many task I've been assigned to do at work as I really don't give a damn about it anymore.

Please excuse me of keep repeating myself but I'd like to stress again with a big sigh, "I'm Tired"

Yes, you may wonder that what is there for a girl like me who had just stepped into her early 20s having so much of this kinda tired excuses. Didn't life has just begun at this point of age??? It's supposed to be but somehow not for me.

I'd walked the journey that perhaps no one understands, it's more than just my laughter and sorrow. Everything happened so fast in a row that I could not even track
yet the effect is long lasting. Worse is I don't have a strength to go against it, at all.

God loves me. God loves me not. Are you a maize that I'm so cornfused now?

Responsibility.Commitment.Attachment. Something I can't escape from but only confrontation. There's a limit to everything but I'm not sure is there any for me or I'd actually surpassed it.

Aih.. Coming this May, I'd really want to take off for an island vacation. Perhentian? Redang? Langkawi? I've yet to decide. All I know is I want to bag a luggage of my "tiredness" there and just let them dissolve in the breeze. And then, Choya shall come back as a totally new and refreshed girl with only aims ahead more than anything else. I'll try :)

Just like someone who has been telling me, everything will be fine. It will :)

I'm not complicated at all, but my life is.

If Only

"If only I..."

Don't you guys agree with me that we often find ourselves having this thought, "If only..." readily in our mind, especially the times when guiltiness and regretness strike our conscience? I'm sure each and everyone of us must have our very own darkest secret that we might wanna try our very best to hide it forever, maybe?
Perhaps it's easy to lie to others but it will never be easy to lie to ourselves.

And sometimes, it's easy to ask for forgiveness from others over our mistakes but has it ever been easy for us to forgive ourselves? I'd rather say sorry to other people than to feel sorry for myself at times. Emo-ness strikes again? Yea...

It has been several nights where in the midst of darkness, there I lie down on the bed with a pillow of ancient thoughts. Recalling the gray areas I once leaped into can sometimes make my mind go hysterical, burning eyes can sometimes roll a stream of tears. And then I can't stop but to feel sorry for myself over the silly and naive mistakes I once made. "If only.. " I had the chance to turn back time, I'd appreciate a tight slap on my face to wake me up from the fantasy world and the miseries today will just be unnecessary. I'd probably forgotten how much it once hurts or how much pain it brings as all I can remember now is purely regretness above anything else and a slight guiltiness :S Heck... not a pleasant feeling.

Well, no doubt people say that with age comes our wisdom. Somehow, when I was living in those were the days, I wouldn't think that there was any problem with my wants and needs, doing and daring but at this very point of my life when I think back of those were the days when I was a noobshit teenager, I start to realise that this Chinese proverb speaks as it says, "Gina lang, cho min kia boh keng koi tua nao"

Aihz~ perhaps it's too late for me to say anything now. A million words and a trillion times of regretness can never help to salvage the precious moments I lost. But I believe that time can make a diffference although it may not entirely heal. Well, sometimes I do think that humans grow with their mistakes, so as to mould them into a more sensible person though it's an awful feeling having to carry such heavy burden with us for the rest of our lives-ReGrEtNeSsssSssSs~ :S

ETERNITY

Just before a great year of 2007 comes to an end, let me just pin up one last post for the month of December, 2007. Aww.. what should I say? It had been a really great year and for me to value its greatness... well, I'd say that it's just priceless~ Once again friends, thank you so much for being there whenever I need you guys!

I'm always proud to let everyone know that I have a bunch of great friends in my life that I don't think I could ever have found them anywhere else :) Well, I'm sure you guys don't need me to mention who you guys are again right? :) Lets just hope that our friendship will continue to blossom with time for ETERNITY.

You know, I'd always find that the word ETERNITY is so, so... just so magical where each and everytime it crosses my mind, the image that flashes within me is a garden of red roses and white daisies. An unusual "reaction" huh??? What does the word ETERNITY has got to do with a garden of flowers huh? :P Romance and affection perhaps?? There are probably 2 things in this world that everyone wishes them to last for ETERNITY and I'm sure they are none other than... LOVE and FRIENDSHIP, agree?

I sometimes find that I adore flowers alot even knowing they will only last for a few days...

But now, there's one more image of ETERNITY being added into my mind now which is...

"As long as intimacy goes on, so will Eternity." - Calvin Klein.

Well, I was awaken by some noises outside my room early this morning, well maybe afternoon... Haha! Yeah, the clock struck exactly 12 in the noon when I took a glance at my handphone. And those voices sounded somewhat really familiar, noisy and loud but I know I had missed them from time to time. My noob Bro had come home.......~ Finally from his one week holiday in Australia.

So, with eyes half opened, the lazy Choya dragged herself out of the bed and reached out for the door knob and *twist*... NAN YA DEIIII~!!! The living room was loaded with bags and luggages, presents and souvenirs. *ngek ngek* ;) Choya then drew closer to the crowd and shall see what can she steal from there.... :P But the food on the table was more tempting and Choya's attention was diverted a little bit :) But then suddenly, my noob Bro placed a rectangular box before the sight of my food. "Nah!" he said, "For you.."

And you are right, it was a perfume that he gave me... Calvin Klein's ETERNITY for her.

Well, maybe not many of you guys are aware that, I actually don't really fancy perfumes. Maybe because I haven't found one that suit my body chemistry or somehow maybe it's some kinda price-y hobby collecting perfumes :P Whatever it is, I'm still happy with that 100 ml of perfume although I'm sure it's going to take half a dozen years for me to finish using it :) I take that as a really exquisite Christmas present and my 20th B'day gift! I'm starting to use perfume!!!!!!!!!

Speaking about my B'day, well... this girl is a pain in the ass har?? Keeps reminding people about her B'day~ As if anyone of us care~ :( Hee... Well, I'm just excited that's all cuz unlike the other B'day surprises planned ahead for my friends, this time I get to be part of the planner for my own B'day celebration~ Yahoo, Yippie.. Syiok sendiri huh? :P Well, it's not going to be some big grown up party in Glo, Momo or Slippery Senoritas but just a plain and simple, quiet and low key B'day party with just very close buddies in Kayangan. Haha! My house isn't that big you see and there are probably lesser than 10 chairs. I'm worried where would I have to place my friends' butts anyways... :( Hee....

*toot toot* a reminder from my mum... Tomoro's BAK KUT TEH DAY again so I gotta sleep early tonight. So before I go, I'd like to wish everyone HAVE A HAPPY AND WONDERFUL YEAR AHEAD!!! I shall think of my 2008 resolutions soon! Good night, peepoSsss... :)