Tell Him

I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Oooh - what if
There's another one he's thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do

I've been there
With my heart out in my hand
But what you must understand
You can't let the chance
To love him pass you by

Should I

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Touch him
With the gentleness you feel inside
Your love can't be denied
The truth will set you free
You'll have what's mean to be
All in time you'll see

I love him
Of that much I can be sure
I don't think I could endure
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say

I'll

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Love is light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It's a steady flame that grows

Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
Tonight love will assume its place
This memory time cannot erase
Blind faith will lead love where it has to go

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Never let him go...

If only words can come so easily like a song then there wouldn't be any such sad song...

Tale To Be Told

"Da da dakkk dakk da da dakk dakk!!!!!" With eyes half closed, I was trying to reach out for my alarming handphone, placed directly under my bed. I looked at the LCD screen and the clock struck sharp at 7.30 in the morning. Sigh* One hell of a sleepness night I had... again :( Been waking up constantly between every one and a half hours time throughout the whole night, and that was bad!

Then the very first thing I thought to myself was, "Should I just cancel the hiking to Penang Hill today?" ... ... Better not, I'm on my 10 pounds project! So I hurried myself to the bathroom and got everything ready in about 45 minutes. Then, I looked out to the weather outside, it was indeed a bright Sunday morning.

As usual, like any other Sunday, I would go for breakfast with my family and you bet, it was Bak Kut Teh again... I mean, as usual? :) Knowing that I'd be on a hiking plan later, I did not stuff myself too full. Not even half a bowl of rice I took and some little dish here and there. But as I got full, I started to feel a little bit floaty~ :S *Yawns~

So I was about 15 minutes late to Botanical Garden, which I was expecting to see Hock, Apong, Abura and Siew Lay waiting for me at the gate. Unfortunately, Siew Lay wasn't coming along. ~ PPK! And I was the only girl, erm.. nothing is wrong of cuz but then quite down pun la... :) At least got a female company maa...

This was our INITIAL PLAN...

yessh! it's top of Penang Hill!!! hike up all the way from the bottom of Botanical Garden!!!

Actually, I was quite looking forward to this activity since the last hiking I went was JLTC then before that was like 4 or 5 years ago? Yea.. The prime outdoor activity for Karate Club back then was hiking, hiking and more hiking on alternate Saturdays! Not everytime we got to hike up Penang Hill. Most of the time until Moon Gate or something, then we hang out there then back down again!

Only once I was on a mission to hike up to Penang Hill, actually we sorta like did not make it to the top but almost (more than 1/2) but due to some parents who were expecting their children to return at a certain time, so we gotta quit! I was F2 or F3.. couldn't really recall. Haha! The second time they organise, I eventually did not make it cuz was having cramps. Came F4 and F5, my stupid bobo teacher advisor sorta like banned this tradition. I always remember her saying "Cikgu penatlah hari Sabtu nak rehat la..".. Kanneh! Potong!!! So, I was quite excited over this activity this time, probably I have no hindrance to reach the top!!

Last time, mostly I used Youth Park track, this time was Botanical and I was pretty unsure bout the tracks. The steepness was almost similar just that this time I got noob. Haha.. Not even 15 minutes up the stairs, I was already panting and feeling altogether like fainting and giving up!!!!



At first, I was telling myself.. "Tahan! Cannot let Kah Whai laugh at you one" Hahaha! But turned out to be he was a good motivator :P But I still damn down. Just down lor. Just thank god didn't faint and roll down the stairs nia Haha! Over exaggerating neeh.. Haha! But that was definitely the first time I got pawned in hiking. FIRST TIME! All along really thought it's my expertise, but just have to admit. Getting older. HAha! Part of the reason I think I ate too heavy breakfast too :S

I stopped many times, kinda potong pun actually. Haha! I insisted that I quit d but then as I said.. Kah Whai was a good motivator wat. Haha! Finally reached the pitstop and heaven it was! I sat down. Dizzy dizzy dizzy and hurried to the toilet. Guess what? Hhaha.. I hurled. HAhahahah! That was cause I drank too much water!!! But just once and I felt rejuvenated :P Too full stomach is not good for hiking :S

Hang out in the pitstop for 20 minutes or so before we decided to hit the tar road back to ground. It was drizzling already that time then suddenly, praaahhhh... heavy rain. Thank God there was a shelter. And alot of things happened there. Erm.. just nice things :) Hahahaha!

A good weather turned into a bad weather. When the rain started to slow down, we faster made our steps to the tar road so that we won't be stranded again later if the rain starts to pour like cats and dogs again. Zhi Xiang and Hock were roller blading down the hill, leaving behind me and Kah Whai with some bobos.

The tar road was real slippery after the rain pour and the cars kept going up and down the hill and we coudn't really walk in peace. Then came a time I was pawned again :S Shit leh...! Hike up time, weak. Hike down so simple yet....

Just imagine this situation below.....

Situation A

A car was coming up so I walked to the side a little to avoid. There were some dried leaves and rough sands, I knew they were slippery but I thought I could escape the "tragedy" by being extra careful!

Situation B:

DownzoRr lor... Slipped and prrreeeeert.. and it was embarassing pun neeh. Haha! I felt funny myself pun but Kah Whai hmmm.. dunno! Din get to capture his expression.. Haha! Kept reminding ppl to not step on leaves but I myself did.. How noob could that be?? :P

Hence this emerged...

Skin kinda scrapped off a little.. Haha!

I was trying to get away from my mum, trying not to let her see this but could not. It was too obvious. Lols! But at least this was better looking than before I washed with the water. Because rain water was dripping and it makes the blood streamed down from my knees to my ankle level and that was gross, for a while. Haha! The last time I got this, that would be when I was 6 years old. Haha!

Thanks to Ah Chin, my brother's gf whom is a nurse! I got bandaged!!!

this can look pretty cool when I'm wearing a skirt or shorts :)

So that was basically my bad experience urmm for the first time in hiking. I guess, I learnt a few lessons lor:-

Make sure the next time, I..
a) Get enough sleep the night before
b) Not to have a heavy breakfast an hour before
c) Not to challenge the dried leaves.. WEAR A LONG PANTS!

That's all for today. God bless me, I'm home, safe and sound. Haha! Thanks for very patient friends and.. sorry for being potong! Haha!! I'll be more mentally prepared for the next round. It doesn't begin nor end here. Haha!

Oh yea! Thanks to Zhi Xiang for being my P.A, lols.. "Zhi Xiang, chui! Zhi Xiang chui!" Lols... And Hock ermsS.. apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur ROCKS! HAHA!

My Ideal Life

I'm sure everybody has their own special thoughts of their ideal lives, like I have one for myself :P However, I too believe that our wants and needs in life will keep changing from time to time as we grow older but for me, at the age of 20, one should have a clear idea of how they want to live their lives in the coming years ahead.

Well, it depends on individuals. Maybe some might think it's too early to think bout things like that but for me, I definitely have got one in mind already :)

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the very first step! :)

Being a person like me, who hates ample free time cuz I have a tendency to get all emotional and depress when I have too much free time (non stop negative thinkings about my past), I would favour a career which takes up alot of my time. AND THAT IS IF.. I'm loving what I'm doing ;) I don't mind working for more than 10 freaking hours perday seriously. If you love what you are doing, you don't feel like working at all but just living your life to the fullest (maybe it applies to me only.. Haha!)

Urmm. Age will not be the factor I retreat from my profession next time as I believe, to retire is to expire :P Maybe I'll slow down a tiny bit but I just won't stop one nano sized bit :) Unless, I fall sick or rest in peace inside a coffin :)

In a nutshell: Choya is extremely career minded and is happy being a workaholic.

no rain can stop me :)

Well well well, no matter how hectic my working schedules are... I won't get them to interfere my precious weekends I'm going to spend with my family and friends! I'll bring mum out for a shopping spree and bring Mikey for his grooming session or maybe me going to the Spa. Hehe~

Actually, I'm quite a homely girl too. Definitely partying once in a while would be great and it's not exactly my cup of cappucino if it's every weekend :P All this while, I have this dream life which includes thoughts of organizing a weekly gathering for friends! No bitchy colleagues but genuine friends :)

During this weekly gathering, I'd love to invite them over to my apartment for a sumptuous feast, which I'll make fantastic meals for them to dine! I can't promise it's going to taste like a heaven but it's my love and my heart put into it leh~ Heee! Well, when I said genuine friends, I'm inviting along their partners and kids too if they have any. It's going to be great! I'm becoming Auntie Choya! And these kids will learn much from their parents about FrIenDsHip :)

In a nutshell: Family and friends make up a huge portion of Choya's life :)

i love to cook but not necessary a good cook :P

Speaking bout that. I really need a fully well equipped kitchen. You can't cook well when you have a lousy kitchen honestly. It makes you feel very... turned off hence, your food tastes lousy :S When I'm financially stable, I definitely want to get an apartment for myself and customized each and every corner of my new home :) I'll start with a kitchen, very important to me!

Something which looks like this would suffice!

Secondly, it would be a comfortable and spacious living room catered for various activities!

Last but not least, of cuz a cosy and relaxing bedroom... with personal bathroom attached!

When you see this king sized bed, it doesn't mean I'm trying to hint you anything bout the co-owner but, personally I love a king sized bed. And sometimes it's great when my girlfriends have some little conflicts with their husbands/ boyfriends, they can come over and ma pou with me and have some pillow talk like when we were teenagers. SluMbeR PaRty!

In a nutshell: Choya adores a sleek and chick interior and comes practical :)

Well, after so much I've discussed about. Maybe a handful of you might have started to wonder, "Is Choya a freak or something? She did not mention anything about her ideal romance at all. Is she a lesbian? Or is she a loner? Or is she an ultimate sadist??? NAN YA DEI~"

The answer is....... relationship matters are almost neutral to me. Have it it's good, probably will treasure it like precious gemstones but if there's not, no big deal either. I'm not trying to give the impression that whoa.. all relationships are saddening or some say that I always like sad endings. Haha! I don't like sad endings but then life's not a bed of roses and we just have to be cautious? Haha!

A person can say he/she loves you for a period of time but after a while, they can forget. Forget the promises, forget the words and forget all times, yes it is that scary when feelings change :) Just like Tong Zhen Hai the fuckface. Ouu. It's from the ShangHai drama Abura and Me had been catching. Abura definitely adores someone in the drama.. T..Tt..Ttaa..Tang.. dot dot dot Haha! Maybe I grow up in an environment full of these miseries, I start to get jelak....

In a nutshell: Choya does believe in Love but not a fairytale

Well, even lets say I'm so lucky to end up in a fruitful relationship and get married to someone for good... Kids will always be in the bottomlist of my List Of Priorities in life :P It's not about the labour pain. It's not about a lifetime of commitment entirely. It's just... it's just.... it's just not the right time to talk about this yet at the age of 20 seriously. Hahahahaha! Cut it short..

In a nutshell: 20 is too young for me to consider about this motherly issue :D

And it's just out of randomness again that I choose to blog about this issue. I mean, it's quite personal too in a way but then it's just to share a little bit more about myself that's all. A life with too many secrets and hideous feelings or trying to be someone you are not can be pretty tiring. I'm just being me, as always I will be :)

Ke Fan asks: Why am I always the one who runs off but also the one who finds my way back to you?

Qi Fei says: Because I won't run. Because you know I'll always be here. Because you know I'll always be waiting for you to come back and will never move a bit from this place. So you know exactly where am I... as always I will be at.