Fear Of Rejection

Okay, the title may somewhat sounds off the beat but then I do really find myself struggling with this phobia, fear of rejection- in fear to reject others more than being rejected :) What kinda nonsense har?? But I really do find it as a problem to come up with an excuse, especially an excuse that is made up cuz it's just impossible for you to utter out the truth that might send a blow to another person.


Alright, enough of fun for this December and I'm sure most of us are already doubling our effort to find a good job that offers good salary and on top everything, something that interest us too right? But then, life is not always a bed of red roses as what my sister had always told me, "You have high expectations and being choosy of other people, people also have exactly that same toughts in turn of you." Which I think it's true also :)


Well, a problem has been bugging me since like a week ago. I'd gone for an interview in an audit firm as a clerk and ha-ha(0-rly??) :P, I got accepted. But then again I have alot of issues to struggle with. First, I think I don't really feel that comfortable with the boss. I don't mean that he had done something fishy nor anything but I just don't feel comfortable with his.. looks perhaps. It's like, it's not a nice feeling~ It's like you see a dress in the store that you might not wanna have a 2nd glance at it again :P Well I guess first impression matters alot right???


2nd problem is obviously the pay. I would say, average pay thats all about it at RM 750. Monday to Friday only excluding OT and double-pay such shits on Sunday. It's not extremely low but it isn't really high too right? Fuel expenses are damn costly these days. But due to continuous calls from him and my idiot-y phobia of rejecting people and also that was my first interview therefore I didn't have any other jobs in hand which I think I made the wrong decision by saying... OK! =.=' Now, I'm kinda determined that I want to reject that offer but how, how how howwww????? Is it bad to say NO after you say OK? zzZzzBuzzZzzz