Just A Moment Before I Sleep

*yawnS*

Actually I'm feeling quite sleepy and blur while typing this. I'd been sleeping quite early these days though sometimes I find it hard to fall asleep soon as I sometimes need to toss and turn for a couple of hours before embarking on my sea cruise to.. dreamland :)

Just a moment before I sleep, I'd just like to say that... I notice a difference in myself lately. Last time, the second before I fell asleep, I used to think about alot of unnecessary stuff and then I felt very monotonous about the next day.

But recently, I must say that... I had been given alot of opportunities to meet new experiences and they have really widened my perspective towards life. I begin to realise that, happiness is really just a hairflip away.. :) I used to have this thought that, there was a missing piece inside me which is causing me to feel so crappy but then I realise that, the missing piece is actually... my peace and freedom. And I feel so silly that it took me one hell of a crazy time and journey to find that missing piece. I had enough of dramas in life that left me with no peace :)

(I don't mean the peace like in the monastery but just you know, a peace of mind and like what Jason Mraz sings: there's no need to complicate, our time is short~)

A freedom doesn't necessarily always means a space that only others can grant you. It's up to your level of commitment that how much space you want to give yourself and it's up to your level of comfortability that how much space you allow other people to have influence over you. Don't you think that it's very miserable when we constantly rely our happiness on other people and we get so upset when they don't take the effort to note our feelings or if they don't meet our expectations? We can create a vibe of happiness for ourselves if we know how to treasure and note our merit values in us!

Rome wasn't built in a day so obviously it takes time to do so. For me, I'm just taking baby steps to change my bad day to day habit and ditch all those self-proclaimed-sadness-and-miseries-of-my-past-like-how-i-was-being-mistreated-and-who-and-who-so-on-that-had-left-such-a-huge-impact-or-whatever-scar-in-me. Like what's the point of living in other peoples' mistakes. It's not as if I deserved it but it just happened so I have to move on anyway. But if I continue to feel miserable about what others had and had not done for me then the foolish person to be in the losing end will not be them... but me :)

*ssSiPppp!* Yumz! I just drank a bottle of Yakult. Yes, my morning now begins with a glass of milk and my day ends with a bottle of Yakult. No~ it's not a secret recipe to happiness :P but my brother stocked up those for me before he left on Monday ;)

The conclusion would be.. I'm feeling really sleepy now and all that I want to say is, instead of feeling monotonous about the next day, I'm beginning to feel excited bout it because I finally know.. where's the direction I am going. What really matters in reality and when to let go somethings that had let me go... so long ago. These small pieces of things are what I consider important to start building me up.

Now repeat after me, happiness.is.JUST! a hairflip away.... *tWinnKk*