Therapy

Writing has always been a therapy to me.
Particularly blogging, find it very therapeutic.
Someway, somehow.

I never lie about my emotions in my blog.
If I feel euphoric and high bout something or even someone, I'll hoo-haa bout it. And then I move on.
If I feel mad and angry about something or even someone, I'll bitch about them and at most, give 2 shits about it and then I move on.
If I feel sad or down, I'll pour all my heart and soul into my words and then, I move on :)

I'm not feeling euphoric tonight. Nor mad at someone too. And yes, I'm feeling sad. So sad that I feel like crying suddenly. There's no reason to how and why am I feeling like this. I guess it should be the.. sudden hormonal attacks. You can google it. No joke :)

However, there are no wasted tears here. All to the greatest reservoir- my heart :)
I'm not an emo kid but there's no one to be blamed for fluctuating hormones, I'm aware of that.

Or maybe I'm just too happy and excited that I am finally able to fix my wireless connection and get to cosily surfing the internet on my beloved chamber of ..... whatever. I mean my bed :)

Or maybe it's about what someone had told me earlier this afternoon.

Maybe I'm just nervous of the idea of growing up. Facing life. Challenges ahead. I guess I'm just over excited? I was chatting with my sister and she said something that made me feel teary but true.

Match Stick's Gurl: So what do you feel like or wish to do for your 21st birthday?

Choya Pattinson: I don't know. Physically or emotionally??

Match Stick's Gurl: For the moon?

Choya Pattinson: (New Moon? Hee!) I just want to spend quality time with loved ones and close friends :) Nothing particular.

Match Stick's Girl: That's all?

Choya Pattinson: Maybe too gain more freedom and can drive my own life without parental supervision anymore?? Hee!

Match Stick's Gurl: HAHA! You can have that. Not a problem.

Choya Pattinson: I'm not so sure about it. You know your mum, right?

Match Stick's Gurl: Yea. Actually.......

Choya Pattinson: ??

Match Stick's Gurl: Yea that's true. When I think of that... We still thought that you were a little kid n child that haven't grown up n just a glimpse of eye u r now 21 d.

Match Stick's Gurl: In our eyes n mind u r always a little gurl or rather we rather choose to c that u will never grow up.

Match Stick's Gurl: But that's very very selfish of us! HEHE!

Choya Pattinson: sigh* It's time I need to be really responsible for my acts rite? No more fooling around and don't give a damn attitude.

Match Stick's Gurl: So tell me, what do you really want? Anything.

Choya Pattinson: (yat sat chor mou fong kor- ngek ngek*) I want a platinum necklace with a key pendant. I want new sunshade. I want a new leather bag. LOLS! You ask for it!!

Match Stick's Gurl: Got it! A Bata brand bag for you. That's all I can think of for you if you want a bag. Haha!

Choya Pattinson: (Ba-lan la :P) YOU!!! Nvm.. Lols

Match Stick's Gurl: Can I ask you smth really serious??

Choya Pattinson: (!!!???) Har? What? So serious?? (I don't have a boyfriend yet :P)

Match Stick's Gurl: Do you think Haresh is handsome??

Choya Pattinson: LolS! I don't know who is Haresh, I only know who's Rob Pattinson and he's very handsome for sure!!!! :P

Match Stick's Gurl: haHa!

So that was part of MSN convo with my sis. Tell me. Shouldn't I feel sad over some parts of it when she said about me growing up? I just feel emo when the words keep flashing across my mind. Time flies. I'm 21 one, soon 31, 41, 51!! BITE ME CARLISLE!!! :P

~*~Time is ticking, blood is racing, out of control. I feel like chasing you to date me is a race of its own~*~

2008 coming to an end, very quickly... Everything will remain as history, once more. To think about it, for nearly the past of 20 years, I haven't really done anything memorable and adventurous. Something solid enough for me to feel, my life is a worthwhile one though I got some wear and tear, here and there :)

I already have something in mind. And I'm going to do it. For sure I will. No hesitation this time. And it's something about me vanishing in Penang for a while, far far away. To somewhere that the day & night, remain a contrast :P It might take years for it to be accomplished but good things worth all the time :)

I guess I should just stop right here. It's not healthy to let emotions overpower me for a long time. Like I said. Whatever it is, I move on :)