Life Confrontations

I followed my mum to the hospital for 3rd check-up today. Everybody is saying that life's unpredictable, life's fragile and life's vague. But today I really felt that uncertainties of life, for real after looking at one particular patient being hurried into the Operating Theatre, while I was waiting for my mum outside the Endoscopy Room. He was awake and I see nothing in him but a hopeless expression.

I always think that, this kinda scene only exists on TV screen. I can't help but to wonder, what would I feel if I were that patient being hurried into the Operating Theatre. All this while, I'm sure most of us would think that operation is a best solution for a treatment and I always wonder why some people are so stubborn as to put their lives in jeapordy for not accepting operation, they just let go the chance of surviving even if it were just 0.01%! But now I know, it takes alot of courage and mental preparations as you wouldn't know what may happen on that table, you may not be alive when out. :} I always have this far fetched thought that, what if the anaesthetic given is not enough and I wake up in the midst of operation. Just kill me!

30 minutes had gone and I know my mum would not finish her scope so fast since she would be given anaesthetic so I took a stroll along that floor. I saw many different rooms, each diagnosing different kinda illness. A typical scene, many patients were waiting for their turns outside the room, old and young. And it set me wonder, which of these rooms that I might end up be in one fine day? No one knows. And suddenly, this reminds me of a game I'd played, Theme Hospital! :P

Of course I must be thinking too much as a matter of fact, but it's good to have a mental preparation at times. I've never had a body check-up before, but the idea of it shakes my ground. What if suddenly there's a tumour here and there?? But how long can we escape from live confrontations.

Just then when the doctor was explaining my mum's progress after the scope, I saw something which I'd prefer to tell myself that I'd never seen it. It was written in the report that there's a query? malignant ulcer. MALIGNANT?! But it thank god there was a query? sign which means, it's just a speculation and it's not certain according to my brother's girlfriend. But the doctor had told my mum that, if it doesn't heal, she might have to go for an operation. Operation~ I dunno what's my feelings now, but it's not a pleasant one.

Another test and obstacle from God, I can't reject and say NO as the nature is in His hands, but I can't handle much. One thing at a time, that's my prayer.