Where's The Love

Maybe you can call me a pessimist or maybe, you might think that I'm over exaggerating. Certainly, I'm not a desperado but I can't help but to wonder... does true love exists after all??

Well, it's not fair to summarize the whole story of that MEN are always the culprits behind the failure of a relationship. There are good ones for sure out there, perhaps somewhere but obviously they are neither plenty nor abundant but just a handful of them. But to be exactly honest, the MEN I have met so far in my life, lets just say that they are those people who sometime ago played a very big part in my life... had let me down the most. My Dad for instance. Still until today, I'm being let down...

You may think that I'm speaking nonsense over here but I can't help it. None of you have walked in my shoes, perhaps you won't have any idea of how much all this hurts and the despair it causes. It's hard to swallow the fact that someone changes drastically in front of you. Especially someone you once looked up to and highly trusted, people around you telling how lucky of you to have someone like that close to you. And came one day where everything changed in a blink of an eye. You don't even have the chance to keep track of when and how things happened but zoop! The world seems like it's rotating in the opposite way.

Don't get me wrong if I speak like I'd been in Love a hundred times but to look at how many unfruitful relationships and marriage failures among the members of my own family is enough to get me really wary of being in Love. Sometimes, I do try very hard to convince myself that I'm just being unlucky to have to go through all these. Perhaps things will change with time, not all relationships are that deadly but the fact is, I'm seeing more and more and more broken relationships, each seconds and minutes as I grow. How am I not supposed to think this way when the things I see in front of my eyes are happening for real??? Especially when I had once walked through that miserable times, I... pretty much have lost some faith.... yea, I did.

"I rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else".. this phrase still lingers in my mind sometimes, someway, somehow. I can proudly say, it's just purely rubbish.

When I attended a wedding ceremony last night, when I looked at how the bride and bridegroom crossed their arms and sipped their drinks, I can't help but to wonder that, would there be any chance for this romantic scene in another 3 or 5 or maybe 2 years to come?? My Mum had always told me that, marriage resembles a gamble for a girl. If she is married for good then wholahay~ but if it's the other way round, then it's just too bad. She had also said that, marriage is perhaps the last step or an ending to a great love story though many people think it's just the beginning. Well, I can't doubt her words since she had one greatest nightmare with my Dad. And my sister who had quite a similar experience in her 9 years relationship that ended for good in the end too. She said that, if only she had gotten married, she would end up like my Mum too.

Well, it doesn't matter how long it takes for someone to change. Does the idea of a few decades of marriage will secure a human's heart? Came a real story I was only told sometime ago, someone related to my family of cuz and I'm just too sick to even mention who he is. Well, sometime ago, everyone in my family was praising how loyal and a great husband he was. He had a huge children clothing business and how lucky was his wife to be able to marry an ideal man like him. Every women in the house can't do anything better than praising her with envious. But then, came last year where he had met a new woman in his life and he totally shut his wife out of his door. He stopped her allowances for the family, no more credit cards, refused to pay for her insurances and even kicked her butt out of the factory and get the taukeh niao position substituted by the FAT mistress. The wife's soul was really tormented apart and it's really saddening to hear about how she coped with that. She was with him from a zero and now that he's a hero, she's not the heroin :P Now I know why the last new year they came in different trips, not exactly like years ago. What is Love in the end of the day?? All fired up at first then to wait for the flame to slowly diminish?? What is marriage then, I wonder.

Obviously, there might be some of you who oppose what I just reviewed but I'm just writing based on my personal thoughts and experiences. Well, you guys should be lucky that this never happened in your lives. Or shall I say, yet???

Whatever it is, life carries on isn't it? Just be prepared that's all. When someone really changes, to me I learnt that, it's no use of going hysterical and pounce on him/her for clarification. 1001 excuses tell u the same thing, feelings changed. If this can happen to anyone, it can happen to everyone too. At least you know, you're not the only person in this world who suffer in the ToRtUrE ChAmBeR of Love.